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Birth
Supreme Leader Shabazz Aladeen gave a great gift to the world when he decided to be born. He was seventh son of the glorious Wadiyan President-For-Life Omar Aladeen. His mother was an Air France stewardess who tragically died of an oxygen underdose shortly after Aladeen’s birth in 1982 – this fact means he is now 30 years old. Any photos you may have seen of Aladeen as a child in the mid-70s, including a great one of him at the premiere of Saturday Night Fever, were doctored by the corrupt Zionist Western media.
Rise to Power
When Aladeen was just a child, his father Omar died in a tragic hunting accident when he was hit by 97 stray bullets and a stray grenade. Shortly afterwards, Omar’s Chief Advisor suggested that Aladeen should be officially declared the successor. The supremely-humble Aladeen responded by accepting the position and then shot the man for challenging the rule of his father. Aladeen righteously declared his father Eternal President of the Republic and called for free elections to determine who would serve as Vice-President under his dead father.
Childhood
Aladeen’s childhood was filled with tragedy; all six of his older brothers met with the most accidental of deaths. The eldest slipped on Aladeen’s Hot Wheels cars and fell down the stairs while babysitting Aladeen. Another brother fell and impaled himself through the eye on Aladeen’s “Action Jackson” action figure -- again while babysitting. Another was murdered at age 12 by General Motors when his Pontiac Trans Am put itself in drive and ran him over. Tragically, Aladeen’s remaining three brothers perished in a typical suicide pact by simultaneously shooting themselves in the back multiple times with automatic rifles.
8 comments:
Ahah. Throughly acceptable credentials. Welcome to the Evil Overlords Country Club sir. Here are your room keys. Mind the laser-toothed sharks in the fountain as you pass the foyer. Enjoy your stay.
This screams out to be played as an AK47 game...)
Exactly what I was thinking. Or perhaps even TV7 if you want to go down the pulpish TV series route.
either way would be entertaining...)
Very cool backstory. :) Whenever we are out hunting with grenades I always make sure my heirs only have color coded smokes. That way I'll know which one of the little bastards just tried to kill me. :)
LOL Good idea Joe....I'll add it to the imperial codex...)
Seems a thouroughly modest and likeable chap.
Tim Gow said...
Seems a thouroughly modest and likeable chap.
To be sure, just don't enter into a foot race with him!
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